[Be Kind] For a Cause, No Applause

Published: October, 17, 2018

REVISED:

I'm not a good person, but I do try.

I don’t say this to make you or anyone else feel like they have to bolster my confidence and tell me how kind of a person I am, because it’s just not true.

I’m average at just about everything, all adjectives included. I’ve never been the girl to be characterized as sporty. It’s actually a running joke to call me smart. And sadly a “girl who tries to be a good person but is really just ok at everything” award doesn’t exist.

Or at least it didn’t.

Today my name was called and recognized in an impromptu assembly based around the giving of recognition to those in our school community that don’t get awards for simply being kind people.

When I heard our assembly was about giving awards, I won’t deny this, I rolled my eyes.Looking back I shouldn’t have, but the same handful of girls always win everything, and I was sure it wasn’t about to change then.

When I told my sister that I rolled my eyes, she accused me of being jealous because she knewI knew my name wasn’t going to be called. Sure, I thought it would be fun to be called up for once, but I haven’t done anything special, so why should I be recognized? That defeats the entire point of awards; you do something incredible and therefore earn applause. I wasn’t expecting it, and therefore wasn’t going to be hurt when I wasn’t called on.

Then, Ms. Lemon said my name. I froze, and was suddenly shoved to a standing position by my friends. I couldn’t tell you one word she said, it was all white noise… the only thing I could hear was “wait she said my name!” echoing over and over again in my head.

That’s the thing, that will never happen again. Today I got my first “award” in high school, likely my last as well. I am content. Not because I am lack-luster and don’t care, but because I am realistic and understand there are countless other girls in our community that deserve the awards more than I do. I’m average, they’re not.

Besides, an award for being kind, or supportive, or anything nice is hard to accept or wrap you head around. It’s an award for people who are being what we are: human KIND. The title itself defines us as beings who desire to care for those around us… I did nothing extraordinary.Nothing I did to deserves the recognition I got, yet I got it. Somehow, despite not earning it, I still feel gratitude knowing that I got called on because someone saw me being myself as doing something good.

I’m good at something for the first ever.

The majority of girls I talked with after said what a waste of time the assembly was, and how stupid giving an award for being nice is. Yes, they are right that awards for being good people are hard to give or listen to, but for the the girls that were called on that never get anything, it meant more than it probably should have.

Today I got an award for just being. Being normal, being nice, and being myself. I know I’m not great, but  learning there’s an anonymous person out there who sees my normal as something better makes my heart happy.

So maybe trying to be a good person is all it takes? Maybe we’re allowed to have off days or slip ups, but if we just try to be nice, try to be kind, try to understand each other rather just jumping straight to judging we can all win a “tries to be a good person” award.