The Little Things

Published: October 17, 2018

Revised:

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Is it moments of pure bliss where everything in life seems to be aligned, like your wedding day? Or finally getting an A in a class you’ve worked all year for? A college acceptance, or a promposal for the books?

I used to think this was the right answer. My life used to be lived for moments like those; the big ones that grown ups tell you about when you’re a little girl, and your eyes light up with every new detail of the best days of your life. Their voices suddenly get higher with excitement over the thought for what’s to come for you. I use to think that’s what life was lived for.

It’s not.

Happiness, and consequently, life, for me, is about sitting on the front porch with my mom hearing the crickets and the church bells in the distance. It’s about breathing in deeply and feeling the brisk Tennessee morning air shock your lungs. It’s 2 am facetimes with your friends light years away, or so it feels, and feeling loved enough to send ugly snapchats to your man.

It’s the little things.

Those little things may not seem important until they are most needed, an idea that has only become clear to me recently. Everyone has those days were we get swept up in the current of change, as though change is a massive ocean, and we merely tiny sea creatures helpless to it's grasps. We find ourselves sucked under the waves of change - leaving us with a growing need for air.The other day, I needed air, literally and metaphorically.

I stepped out of the Senior House, drying my eyes on my out of uniform sweatshirt, and attempted to regroup. Having found no success, I went to my happy place to see if it would corral my emotions.

Standing totally still, as if I wanted to become invisible against walls of the English hallway, my meditation was abruptly interrupted by a sudden swinging of the doors. In walks the male posse.

At the head was Mr. Springman, my Psych teacher. Rather than stopping to ask what was wrong, he puts his hand out for a fist bump.

*pop*

Our knuckles collide and he’s off. I gave a small smirk, and his head nods as he continues on his way. It was little, but it meant the world. It showed me that I wasn’t alone, and no longer needed to believe the weight of the world rested solely on my shoulders.

That wasn’t the only time a small act such as that has turned my world around. A pat on the shoulder from Dr. Jack during the worst 24 hours of my entire life made me cry, not due to sleep deprivation, although that definitely made an impact, but because of the feeling in my stomach that someone out there was there for me.

It’s the little things.

This weekend, I spent a magical four days with my long time best friend at her new school. To be perfectly honest I was terrified… not only because I was headed to live in an unfamiliar place, but because I knew no matter how much I wanted our friendship to be like it always was, things have changed and she has moved on.

I would find that I was correct in my hypothesis, and time’s effect on our relationship could be seen, though only in small ways. We no longer could talk about anything, instead we had to catch up on everything. We no longer new each other’s friends, thoughts, or feelings, instead they were all new.

As time progressed, things got better, but I had yet to feel the comfort that I had once felt. That was, until a small moment, one in which she may not even recall. It’s 2:30 am Thursday morning at the back table of cookout devouring every morsel of food in front of us. Heels on the table, bare feet on the stone cold floor, laughing our heads off at just about anything the other says. It was just like it had always been.

It was the little moment that mattered most to me.

Although going to energetic fraternity parties, sitting in on insightful lectures, and meeting countless new people was great, my favorite moment couldn't be summarized under one of these big categorizes of fun and learning. That’s because I didn’t need to be wowed by the campus, people, or parties, I just needed to feel at home. And I did.

Life isn’t about the grand moments. Sure, they help. They make our happiest times what they are, but they don’t define us. We are defined by the little things: the fist bumps, the pats on the back, and the late night runs to cookout with your best friend.

It’s about the little things.